15 Things

Hi!  So we are about 9 months through the year long deployment.  Only 3ish months to go!!!  The past 9 months have been amazing, devastating, hard, fun, trying and a million other emotions!  I have learned so much about myself this year, some good and some bad.  So here are 15 I was originally going to do 30 things but after I got to 15 and it was kind of a long list I thought you might get bored reading, so I cut it down things that I have figured out or done this year!

1.  I am almost an official Young Life Leader!  I am so excited!!!!  I love Jesus!!

 

2.  I am strong!!  Never thought I was until this past year.  :)

3.  I create my own happiness, no one else.  If I'm not happy in my heart no one or nothing can make me happy!

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves and it is impossible to find it elsewhere." -Agnes Repplier

***so true, it's not a lie!!!***

4.  I control my own emotions.  They are my responsibility.  No more blaming others for feeling sad/mad/bad.  I choose how I react to someone's behavior and will no longer blame them/their emotions for my bad mood.  I can choose to not let it bother me!

5.  It's ok to say NO!!!  I don't have to say yes to everything, I can pick and choose.  And if I can't do something with a happy heart I shouldn't be doing it!

***Thanks Mom!  I finally listened!!!**

6.  I love girls nights to go dancing!  And it's ok if I go!!!!

7.  I am just as important as everyone around me.  My wants and needs are important.  It took me 30 years to figure this out but I finally did!

8.  I'm not scared to be on my own/alone anymore!  If I can work 40+ hours a week, take care of 2 kids and 1 dog, get all of the house work and laundry done, keep up with the yard I can do anything!

**Special thank you to Gram for feeding us not that she feeds us every night, but A Lot!  And I don't ask her to, she invites us!**

9.  I love God!!!  Not that I haven't always loved him, but I finally let him get in the drivers seat and I can tell you that it makes my life so much easier!

10.  It's ok to have "me" time.  Until this year I always felt guilty leaving my girls to have "me" time.  After working all week, I wanted to spend every extra minute with them.  After doing it on my own, I realized that I need some time to myself, it's healthy for everyone otherwise someone might seriously get hurt!

11.  Laughing is more fun than crying.  I have laughed a lot this year and about 40% of the time it's to keep from crying!

12.  If nothing changes, nothing changes.  I can't change people, they have to change on their own.  And if they do, great!  And if not, ok.

13.  I'm codependent, but I'm working on it.....it's a really hard thing to change, but I realize when I am doing it, so yay for me!!!  And soon I will be "Codependent No More"

14.  Faith is amazing!  One of the hardest beliefs to have but so worth it!

15.  I finally feel like a grown up!  I always remember my Mom telling me that you aren't a grown up until you turn 30 and I really think she was right!  Damn it!  Just kidding, kind of.....hate when she is always right!

Dear Tuesday....

Dear Tuesday,
I like you as much as I liked yesterday (which I hated).  I am moody and grouchy and in a funk.  Nothing seems to be going right and I want to cry :(  Can we please skip today and make it Friday when my Sisters will be here and I no longer have to think about work?  Please Please Please!!!

Kenzie

p.s.  Dear, Wed and Thurs.....I think I hate you already too

Mommy Ramblings

I try to limit the amount of time my kids get to spend watching TV everyday.  They get to watch cartoons for 1/2 every morning while they get ready to go.  Generally we don't turn on the tv until after dinner, however I do make exceptions when both of my kids are really grouchy and whiney and I have to get dinner made!  Their channel of choice.....Nick Jr!  This is a channel that I can turn on and not have to worry about the language being used.  The shows are interactive and teach a variety of subjects, the girls love Dora.

However the other night we were watching TV and I can't remember what we were even watching (nothing too bad because the girls were still up) but there is a new Reebok commercial out that uses the word butt.  Now I know this isn't an awful word, but my kids aren't allowed to use it(and neither was I until I moved out of my mom's house).  They also can't say shut up, crap, God or any of the other words like this.

I find it very disturbing that we can't even watch TV anymore at night without hearing some kind of foul language.  How many cuss words are allowed on TV and radio?  Too many!!  I grew up listening to country music and still listen to it today.  But it seems like I don't even want to listen to the radio with my kids in the car because of the foul language.

I often wonder what is wrong with the majority of todays children...I recently drove by an elementary school and saw young girls with thong underwear visible and belly shirts.  I saw 2nd graders with cell phones!  I am not trying to be judgemental but I want better for my girls.  I want them to value themselves and cover their bodies, I want them to respect adults, I want them to use their manners at home and in public, I want them to be well educated and think about what they are saying and how it sounds, I want them to work for things that they want so they realize that hard work does pay off.  Rules, regulations and laws have allowed awful language on TV and radio and reality shows give false perception of life.  Too many children are given things, never having to earn them.

I guess what I am saying is that I am sad for our children today.  I ask God to give me the strength to not go with the flow or what's cool and teach my children better, even if it means saying tushy and please be quiet!